Who will care for your kids if you can’t?

Naming a guardian for minor children: why this decision matters more than ever

Naming a guardian for your minor children is one of the most important — and often overlooked — decisions in estate planning. As families balance dual incomes, geographic dispersion and complex financial lives, naming a guardian for minor children has become even more critical.

At its core, guardianship planning answers a simple but essential question: Who will care for your children if you can’t?

That question applies not only in the event of death, but also in situations involving incapacity, where the process can be more complicated and potentially contentious.

What changed — and why it matters

While parents have long been able to nominate guardians in a will, many states now allow for standby guardianship designations.

These provisions allow a preselected individual to step in if a parent becomes incapacitated.

However, relatively few families take advantage of them. Without a standby guardian, family members may need to go through a court process to be appointed — increasing the risk of delays and disputes.

For households with young children, that gap can create uncertainty at exactly the wrong time.

What this means for you

If you have not yet made a plan for naming a guardian for minor children, or if your situation has changed, your children’s future care could be left to the courts.

Even though courts often try to follow parental wishes, failing to document those wishes can lead to disagreements among family members.

How guardianship works

Parents are the natural guardians of their children. But if both parents die, a court must formally appoint a guardian.

In most cases, courts will follow the parents’ nomination in a will, assuming that parents are best positioned to decide what is in their children’s best interest.

However, that outcome is not guaranteed. If objections are raised and evidence suggests the chosen guardian is not suitable, the court may decide differently.

Incapacity: a more complex scenario

Planning for incapacity is often more complicated than planning for death.

Without a standby guardian, a prospective caregiver must petition the court for authority. This process can take time and may lead to disputes among family members.

Standby guardianship provisions can help avoid this by clearly identifying who should step in if a parent becomes unable to care for their children.

Choosing the right guardian

Selecting the right person for naming a guardian for minor children is rarely straightforward.

Several individuals may seem like good candidates — siblings, parents or close friends — but practical considerations often shape the final decision.

These may include:

Location and proximity

Living arrangements and capacity

Existing family responsibilities

Emotional and relational dynamics

For example, a relative living far away may be a natural choice emotionally but may create significant disruption for a child.

Equally important, parents should have a direct conversation with the person they intend to name. The role carries significant responsibility and should never come as a surprise.

The financial side of guardianship

Naming a guardian is only part of the process. Funding a child’s care is equally important.

Many families use life insurance to ensure financial support is available through childhood and into adulthood, including education costs.

A common structure separates responsibilities:

A trustee manages financial assets

A guardian handles day-to-day care

This approach reduces the burden on the guardian and adds oversight to how funds are used.

Special needs considerations

For families with special needs children, planning often extends beyond age 18.

Once a child reaches adulthood, parents may need to seek court appointment to continue serving as guardians.

In many cases, this becomes a long-term or permanent arrangement, making early and thoughtful planning essential.

The bottom line

Naming a guardian for minor children is not just a legal step — it is a critical part of protecting your family’s future.

Taking the time to plan, document your wishes and coordinate financial resources can reduce uncertainty and ensure your children are cared for according to your intentions.