Why Families Avoid Talking About Money — And Why It Matters

Family Financial Meetings: Why They Matter and How to Start

Introduction

Family financial meetings are becoming an essential part of estate planning as families face more complex financial lives and longer lifespans. For years, conversations about money, aging and estate planning were often avoided within families, but that’s beginning to change.

What Changed, Who It Affects and Why Family Financial Meetings Matter

More households are recognizing the need for structured, ongoing discussions about finances, health and end-of-life planning, especially as parents age and responsibilities shift to the next generation.

Financial professionals say one simple step can make a significant difference: holding a regular family meeting.

Families today are more geographically dispersed, financial lives are more complex and longevity is increasing. That combination has made communication about money not just helpful, but essential.

These conversations affect anyone with aging parents, adult children or shared financial responsibilities. And they matter because a lack of communication can lead to confusion, conflict and costly mistakes when decisions need to be made quickly.

Without a plan, family members may not know where key documents are, who has authority to act or what their parents actually want.

What This Means for You

If you have not had a structured conversation with your family about finances or estate plans, you are not alone. But delaying the discussion increases the risk of misunderstandings later.

A simple, recurring meeting can provide clarity, reduce stress and ensure that everyone is on the same page.

Start with a Simple Annual Family Financial Meeting

Estate planning attorney Harry Margolis recommends beginning with an annual family meeting, particularly as parents get older.

Some families meet more frequently. One example he cited involves a couple who meet twice a year with their children to review finances, estate plans and life updates. But for most families, once a year is enough to establish a baseline.

The key is consistency. Setting a specific date, such as a holiday or anniversary, helps ensure the conversation happens.

Create an Agenda for Family Financial Meetings

A structured agenda can make these meetings more productive and less intimidating.

Topics typically include:

Financial accounts and overall financial health
Estate planning documents and where they are stored
Health updates and care preferences
Plans for the coming year
Access to key accounts and information

Some families also use shared digital folders to organize documents and make them accessible to those who need them.

Transparency in Family Financial Meetings Reduces Conflict

One of the biggest benefits of regular family financial meetings is reducing the likelihood of disputes.

When communication breaks down, misunderstandings can grow. One family member may step in to make decisions, while others feel excluded or disagree.

Margolis said most families can avoid those situations through consistent communication. In his view, a mediator is unnecessary in the vast majority of cases.

“The hope is that if there’s transparency and communication, you won’t need a mediator.”

Still, if tensions are high or relationships are strained, bringing in a neutral third party may be helpful.

Technology Makes Family Financial Meetings Easier

Distance is no longer a barrier to these conversations.

Video conferencing tools such as Zoom allow families to meet regularly even when they live in different cities or states. That flexibility can make it easier to maintain consistency.

You Don’t Need a Perfect Plan to Start

Many families hesitate because they don’t know how to structure the meeting.

Margolis suggests that while there are templates and tools available, they are not required. Families can develop their own agenda and refine it over time.

It’s also important to leave space for open discussion, allowing participants to raise concerns or questions that may not be on the formal agenda.

Expect Some Discomfort, but Start Anyway

These conversations are not always easy. In some families, parents and children may not agree or may be reluctant to discuss sensitive topics.

But avoiding the discussion can create bigger problems later.

Addressing issues now, even imperfectly, is generally better than leaving decisions unresolved until a crisis occurs.

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